A Bad Feminist

     Feminism can be defined as economic, political, and social equality to men. While it is not unreasonable to question why women earn 77% of what men do, the movement has become an a completely obscene way to condemn the entire male population. There are many ideals of what a feminist should be; identifying as such comes with its negative connotations. The term itself is associated with man hating, angry, militant women who don't shave. I try to steer clear of any feminist related rally or tumblr post, and I am partially ashamed.
     Gay states, "...these articles tell me that there's no way for women to ever get it right... it [seems] like there is, in fact, a right way to be a woman and a wrong way to be a woman". This is a movement that deems women as failures for not being "passionate" enough. The exclusiveness reminds me of a Mean Girls movie; you're in, or you're irrelevant.
     In her essay collection Bad Feminist, Roxane Gay writes, "I fall short as a feminist. I feel like I am not as committed as I need to be...". She goes on to describe the essentials principles in being an "ideal" feminist. Finally-- a woman brave enough to speak out. For so long, I felt like less of a woman, merely because I do in fact like boys. I love the color pink; it's my favorite. I adore make up and getting dressed up. I take selfies. I have a playlist dedicated completely to hard- core rap. None of this makes me any less of a woman. I believe in women's rights and the equality of the sexes, so why is it not enough?
      A key message in Gay's article is this: You can be who ever you are and be a feminist. You're  to allowed to read Vogue and it's okay to binge- watch Keeping Up with the Kardashians. This is because we are entitled to our likes and dislikes. All human beings depend on someone every now and then; we're not super human. Gay explains the struggle when taking her car to the mechanic. Because she knows nothing about cars, it seems as though these men are speaking in a foreign language. From what I understand, this does not make her a failure of a woman, it makes her human. This dilemma goes both ways-- one cannot argue that women are expected to be completely independent while a majority of the male population lacks the ability to cook a plate scrambled eggs.
     In order to achieve unity and equality among the sexes, I believe we must put our differences aside and simply stop blaming the opposite sex for every opposition we face. With condemnation comes tension, and tension only adds fuel to the flame of gender equality that has been burning since the beginning of time. Call me a bad feminist, but I believe in a balance.